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Brad and The Cap’n finally got married this weekend, and I was fortunate enough to be asked to participate in the festivities as a groomsman. Let’s recap the weekend, shall we?

Friday: I had to be at the wedding place by 6:00 for the rehearsal and accompanying dinner and I had to be dressed semi-nice for some reason. Turns out that the place we’re eating dinner in is pretty fancy, and I don’t mind looking nice every once in awhile, so it worked out fine.

There were a hell of a lot of people there for just being a rehearsal, but then again, there were a hell of a lot of people in the wedding party. Throw in ushers, grandparents, etc., and it adds up quickly. We were assigned positions and walking partners in order of height, which meant that Jenn and I got to walk last. After that part was taken care of, we received a verbal overview of how things would proceed and then did two test runs. Everything went fine (not sure what exactly could have gone awry, but nothing did).

After that it was time for dinner, and I got to sit at a table with a few people I knew and a few people I didn’t, but I made a couple new friends and in general had a good time. After dinner was over, Brad and Amanda passed out their gifts to the wedding party, parents, etc. All of the bridesmaids got silver necklaces with a heart pendant, and I’m told there were other presents given out later, but I have no idea what they were. The groomsmen and ushers each received a nice putter with our name and the date of the wedding engraved on it, along with some golf balls and tees to take with us on the next day’s golf outing. Fantastic present.

The rest of the evening consisted of people standing around talking and a pretty laid-back putting contest. After the rehearsal dinner, the ladies went one way, and the guys headed to the Oaken Barrel for a few pitchers of beer and to hang out for a couple hours.

Saturday: I had to drag my sorry ass out of bed bright and early to be at the golf course by 9:00, but surprisingly I woke up on my own at 7:30, a full half hour before my alarm was set to go off. In preparation for the day’s events, I laid in bed and played a couple rounds of Hot Shots Golf on my PSP before finally getting up and getting ready.

There were 12 of us playing a scramble, so we broke up into three four-man teams. Though Brad told me that he was pretty sure he had assigned me to the worst team, we actually ended up getting second and were only two strokes off the pace of Brad’s team, who (not surprisingly) ended up winning.

After golf we went to Cheeseburger in Paradise for lunch, and then went our seperate ways for a few hours until we had to be back at the spot for pictures. I don’t know about everyone else, but I had a stomach full of cheeseburger and beer and had gotten up early, so I went home and took a nap.

I got up at 4:00, took a shower, threw my tux on, and was out the door for pictures. The photographer they used is from Russia and apparently averages about 700-800 pictures per wedding, and he sure took a hell of a lot of them. Assuming Brad and Amanda don’t mind, I’ll be sure to post some pics as soon as they are made available to me.

The ceremony got started at 7:30 and was very, very nice. The bride and groom both looked extremely happy, and everything went off without a hitch. This was the first wedding I had been to where the people getting married had written their own vows, so that was interesting.

After that, the wedding party was introduced, a receiving line was setup (only the bride/groom and their parents were in it, which was nice for me) and people got started on dinner/drinks. For some reason, the wedding party was the last group to be able to go eat, so there was some stuff that was missing. I was told roast beef would be served, but it was mostly gravy and bits of meat by the time I got to eat. That’s quite alright, as the food was my last concern.

Shortly after dinner, it was announced that toasts would be given in the next few minutes. Now, I had decided months ago that I was going to give a toast and had thought up some ideas I wanted to make sure made it in there, but I hadn’t actually started writing anything until the middle of last week. Such is my nature. I didn’t think I had really finished it, but I had what I considered to be a decent base, so I made a few notes on a notecard and stuck it in my jacket pocket before heading in for pictures.

Mike (best man/brother of the bride/my best buddy) was up to bat first and he did his speech completely off the cuff and I thought it was very good. There were a few nervous glances exchanged when he started off by saying that he was originally against Brad and The Cap’n getting together, but he turned it around and said he was fine with it now after seeing how happy they are together. I think it meant a lot to both bride and groom.

Next up was Jill, who was Amanda’s maid of honor. She had written out something that was short and sweet, and ended it with a request that they move back home to Indiana. Very nice.

Ken, one of the groomsmen and a friend since middle school, followed up with something very short. I honestly have no idea what he said because I was trying to psych myself up to go next, but I’m sure it was very nice.

The next thing I knew, I was having a microphone put in my hand and had a room full of about 150 people staring at me. Like most people, public speaking makes me very uncomfortable. While Mike was giving his toast, I had considered emulating him and just making something up as I went along. When the spotlight was on me (figuratively speaking, of course, as there was no actual spotlight), however, my brain sorta locked up and I immediately turned to the notecard I was still clutching in my left hand.

Based on what I had written and what I remember, this is a rough approximation of what I said in my toast. It’s not verbatim, but it should be fairly accurate.

“Hi. This should be the last one of these you guys have to suffer through, but given how long I’ve known both Brad and Amanda, I thought I should say a few words.

First off, on behalf of the bride and groom, I’d like to thank everyone for coming out tonight. This is obviously a momentous occasion in their lives, and I know it means a lot to them that you all came, even if a lot of you — like myself — are mostly here for the free dinner and drinks.

I’d also like to thank the bridesmaids for their efforts tonight. I think we can agree that they all look beautiful. [I think there was something here, but I’m not sure what] On a side note, I’ve heard them arguing throughout the evening over who gets to dance with me first tonight. All I can say is that I’m pretty sure you’re obligated to, so one of you is just going to have to suck it up and take one for the team.

I’ve actually known Amanda about twice as long as I’ve known Brad, and she asked me how I’d feel about being a bridesmaid. I told her I was flattered and I’d love to help her out, but I thought Brad might be a little too into the idea of me wearing a dress.

The groomsmen deserve some thanks too. We’ve done a good job of keeping Brad calm, and most of us were willing to throw our golf games this morning so that Brad’s team could come in first. We could have played a lot better, buddy, but we wanted you to come in here on a high note.

You guys are going to have a lot of people telling you, “good luck,” for awhile, but a marriage isn’t about luck. It’s about hard work, communication, trust, and more than anything else, love. So if I could get everyone to raise their glasses to wish Brad and Amanda a lifetime of love and happiness. Brad, I need you to raise your glass a little higher please. *they both raise their glasses higher* Amanda, lower yours. *they both lower their glasses* You guys, this isn’t complicated. Brad — higher. Amanda — lower. There we go. Okay, now Brad, I want you in particular to savor this moment, and I hope everyone in here is paying attention, because this is the last time Brad is ever going to have the upper hand in the marriage.

Seriously, though, I love both of you guys and wish you nothing but the best. Congratulations.”

I got a much better reaction that I could have anticipated and had people complimenting me on it all night, which was very nice. After the toast, we went out to decorate the happy couple’s car. Because of that, I missed the first dance between the two of them, which is a bit sad, as I understand they had taken a lesson and had a little routine choreographed. Hopefully someone taped it.

At that point it became your standard reception scene, with drinks and dancing and cake and what have you. I’m pretty sure just about everyone who came had a good time, and it was far and away the most fun I’ve ever had at a wedding, and I was happy to have been able to be a part of it. As I mentioned, pictures will be posted as soon as I have some to post.

P.S. - They are currently spending their honeymoon in Jamaica. Lucky bastards.