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Some guy walks into the office off the street today and asks for a job application. Nothing too unusual; even though we don’t really get any foot traffic in here from the general public, there will be the occasional guy looking for work (or some twat who wants to sell me cheap cologne or a grill utensil set). And like a lot of the guys that come in here, he was a little rough-looking and had at least one tattoo.

Right on his throat.

Now, clearly I don’t have a problem with a person getting a tattoo. I have one myself. But I think if you’re going to decide to get a tattoo (this is permanent, kids) on your throat or your face or anywhere that just screams, “LOOK AT THIS TATTOO, SINCE NOTHING I CAN DO SHORT OF PUTTING A BAG OVER MY HEAD IS GOING TO HIDE IT!” requires the tattooee to have accepted that maybe their life isn’t going the way they thought it might. The odds of getting a cushy desk job or working with the public in any way are pretty slim with a flaming skull right there on your larynx.

I’m not saying Johnny Throat Ink from this morning isn’t going to be successful or have a happy life. I’d just kinda like to ask him what made him think getting that tat was a good idea.

I’d ask him when he started working here, but I doubt we’d hire him. He’s got a tattoo on his throat.