zesticle.com

I like the internet, and I like getting together with people to socialize. Given this information, one would probably assume that I’d be all over something that combined these two interests. And if you suggested that I use MySpace.com as a means to experience that amalgamation, I would be hard-pressed not to punch you in the face. Not because I would be angry with you (you’d just be trying to help me find something I might be interested in), but because I hate MySpace so much that hearing its name uttered would fill me with nearly-uncontrollable rage and I would have no recourse other than to cold cock you in the mouth. Sorry.

For those who are unaware, MySpace is a social networking website. You post a profile listing your interests, favorite bands, movies, etc. You find friends or strangers with similar interests, link to each other’s profiles, and the cycle continues on and on and on and on and on. And I absolutely despise it. Why? Let’s take a look, shall we?

People SUCK at Design:

To prove my point, here is a random profile.

That page is pretty much impossible to read. The colors don’t complement each other well, the background makes reading it almost impossible (and yes, that picture of The Rock is locked in place when you scroll up and down), and there is way too much clutter. And practically every page on MySpace is this visually unappealing! I don’t have a profile on MySpace so I don’t know if it is hard to make a page look nice, or if everyone on there just sucks at making webpages (neither would surprise me).

It’s creepy:

I’m a person who greatly values my privacy, and the idea of people being able to track me down through a friend of a friend of a roommate sort of freaks me out. I guess they can’t get more information about me than what I put online, but there are certain people in the world that I don’t want to have looking me up, which alone makes me have no desire to post a profile.

Also, there are more and more stories cropping up about girls getting raped or people getting killed by people they met on MySpace. It’s hardly the website’s fault, but I have seen it said again and again that MySpace is a great tool for stalkers and predators. Be careful, people.

The people are ridiculous:

A few months ago, some emo douchebag killed himself and posted his farewell on his MySpace page. Within a few days, he had hundreds (if not thousands) of other douchebags leaving comments on his page about how much they loved him and how sad they were. The whole thing would have been hysterically funny if it wasn’t so retarded. It’s like all the other MySpacers were having a contest to see who could post the most melodramatic, over-the-top goodbye to some kid they’d never heard of before his story got plastered on CNN.com.

And then there are the pictures people take of themselves. Weird angles, overexposed images (to hide imperfections, of course), and pictures of yourself in front of a mirror with your camera are the norm, not the exception. Freaking weirdos.

All that having been said, I am sure there are some positive aspects to the site, and if any of you MySpacers want to pass those along to me, I’d love to hear them. In the meantime, I will continue to avoid the site like the plague. Although apparently it does seem to be a good source of pictures of random hot girls. There might be some usefulness here after all.

P.S. - You’re not off the hook, Facebook.