a bug’s life
4 04 2006Just a few minutes ago I was moving some papers around my desk (this gives the appearance that I’m working) and found a tiny bug on the corner of someone’s timesheet. It was probably roughly the size of the upper loop on a lowercase ‘e’ on this page, and I have no idea what it was. Despite the fact that it had done me no harm and posed no threat to me whatsoever, I smashed it with the edge of a paperclip. Just because it was a bug.
I’d make a terrible Buddhist.
Almost immediately after I smashed it, though, (there’s always the instant where you’re like, “Ha ha! Take THAT you dumb bug!”) I started thinking about how I’d like it if I was just hanging out, minding my own business, and a big-ass paperclip came down out of the sky and smooshed me. Answer: not very well. Goods news, though - I don’t have to worry about it!!
Nor do I have to worry about getting fried with a giant magnifying glass, or getting picked up out of the blue and thrown into a giant spider web so some giant sicko gets his kicks watching me getting wrapped up having my insides liquefied and sucked out. In a world with so much to fret over, it’s nice to be able to go to sleep at night and not have those things on my mind.
So now that I’ve put myself in a bug’s tiny shoes, am I going to start being a little nicer to them? Hell no! They’re bugs! In much the same way that cows pretty much exist so we can eat them (seriously, what other possible purpose could cows serve?), bugs are around so we can crush ‘em and flush ‘em. Except spiders, and only because they eat other bugs.
Stay out of my house, office, and car and you’ve got nothing to worry about, Flick. Otherwise you’re dead meat. Or more of a crunchy paste, actually.
In unrelated news, Dnoc & The Cap’n’s dog Bailey graduated from obedience school a few weeks ago, and even though I told her I’d post these pics, I kept forgetting about it. Sorry!
Categories : General
