zesticle.com

There’s not an easy way to say this, so I guess I’ll just say it. If you’re reading this and we’ve engaged in conversation over an instant message medium of any sort, the odds are outstanding that I’m guilty of lying to you. It’s nothing major, it’s just that– *sigh*. How do I find the words?

Okay, you know what “LOL” means, right? If you’re internet-savvy enough to find your way to read this, then I’m guessing the answer is yes. But just in case, LOL is internet parlance for “laughing out loud.” I say it all the time. I’ve said it right to your face (in a manner of speaking) when it was completely untrue.

The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of the time when I right that, I am not actually laughing out loud. I just type it so you know that I think whatever was just said was funny. Perhaps I should adopt (and possibly help perpetuate the use of) a new acronym. TWF, for example (meaning “that was funny”). I’ll just have to be careful not to make any typos and write WTF instead (which I use all the time).

Just so we’re clear on what I mean, here’s a handy conversion table. Feel free to bookmark this for reference purposes when we’re emailing/IMing.

The fine folks at Google have yet again released a free product that’s incredibly useful, and that integrates with some of their existing stuff. Say hello to Google Calendar.

I’m not the kind of guy that uses a planner or anything, but I’ve sort of gotten into using the outstanding Rainlendar on my laptop at home to remind me when to pay bills, and I’ve started using the calendar on my cell phone to remind me about birthdays and appointments and stuff. I’m just going to cut and paste the features from the link above, since I know a lot of you won’t read it unless I put it here and there is some handy stuff.

FEATURES:

• Calendar Sharing: Set up a calendar for your company softball team, and share it with the whole roster. (Your shortstop will never forget about practice again.) Or share with friends and family so you can view each other’s schedules side by side.

  GC note: You don’t have to share your entire calendar, and you can create multiple calendars with one account. For example, you can have a calendar for work stuff, one for personal stuff, and one for a group you might be in and only share the latter two.

• Invitations: Create event invitations, send them to friends, and keep track of people’s responses and comments, all in one place. Your friends can receive your invitation and post responses even if they don’t use Google Calendar themselves.
• Quick Add: Click anywhere on your calendar where an event belongs (or use the Quick Add link), and start typing. Google Calendar understands whole phrases like “Brunch with mom at Java Cafe 11am on Saturday,” and will pop new events right into your agenda.
• Gmail Integration: Add your friend’s Super Bowl party to your calendar without ever leaving your Gmail inbox. Gmail now recognizes events mentioned in emails.

  GC note: If you’re not using Gmail by now, you had better have a damn good reason. Let me know if you need an invitation.

• Search: Find the date of the Baxter family BBQ (you knew it was sometime this summer). Or, search public calendars to discover new events you’re interested in and add them to your own calendar.
• Mobile Access: Receive event reminders and notifications on your mobile phone.

You can also import your crap from Outlook and other calendar programs. Give it a shot.

One other Google-related item. In Gmail, you can IM other Gmail users on your contact list while you’re logged in (without the need for a seperate chat program), and can setup away messages and things like that. This is what one of my friends has had as her away msg for a few days now:

It’s so nice to feel loved.

Time for some nerd humor! And I already started with the post title. Ha ha! Here we go!

Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.
One said: “Why do you look so sad?”
The other responded: “I lost an electron.”
Concerned, One asked “Are you sure?”
The other replied “I’m positive.”

A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and asks for a drink. Finishing, the neutron asks “How much?”
The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”

Ferrous Wheel

A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, “COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He enters and sits down.

The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, and says that he smells kind of nerdy. He then asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver explains to him that he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender serves him a beer and says, “OK, truck drivers aren’t nerds.”

As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in wearing a pair of glasses with tape around the middle, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt that is at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him why he did that.

The bartender replied, “Don’t worry. The computer nerds are in season because they are overpopulating Silicon Valley. You don’t even need a license.”

So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads for the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the road. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, snatching up all of the computers. The scavengers are comprised of engineers, accountants and programmers - computer geeks. Each of them wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen.

He can’t let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, killing several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.

The truck driver said, “What’s wrong? I thought computer nerds were in season.”

“Well, sure,” says the patrolman, “But you can’t bait ‘em!”