zesticle.com

There have apparently been fabulous advances in textile technology as of late. A couple weeks ago I was shopping for some new dress socks (these are socks you wear with nice shoes, not a dress) and ended up buying a three-pack of a brand that said that their socks had the ability to keep moisture off of your feet or some such thing. I thought it sounded shady and wanted to see for myself whether or not they were lying. Dress shoes (see above) typically don’t breath very well and have a tendency to make my feet sweat more than they do in regular shoes [note: I read somewhere once that the average person loses 1/4 cup of sweat through their feet every day] so I was hoping that their claims weren’t fraudulent.

So I’ve worn a pair of these socks two or three times now, and I can say that you may officially color me amazed. I am not sure how it works, but they really do keep my feet dry. Kudos, Science. Although I am impressed, I think you should quit worrying so much about my feet and get cracking on the flying cars and/or teleporters. I can teleport myself home and grab a fresh pair of socks if my “old tech” pair gets too gross.

YOU GUYS. TELEPORTERS - NOW!