zesticle.com

So, I have a roommate moving in this weekend and he wants to transfer his home phone and DSL service to my house so he doesn’t have to pay any contract cancellation fees, and because he knows that I don’t use a landline. No problem.

I actually have a landline account that I have used solely to keep my home security system connected to the outside world in the event that it’s needed, so I called just a bit ago to try and cancel it. I kept getting bounced around automated menus, but finally talked to a real, live person. She told me I needed to talk to someone else (of course!) and said she would transfer me. Within a few seconds, I was hearing automated options again, as though I had just called in.

AT&T has one of the menus that lets you say what you want instead of pushing buttons for options. After I realized that I had been led back to the beginning of the menu system, I said, “aw Jesus!” After hearing my exclamation, the computer-controlled e-dude said, “It sounds like you’d like to speak with one of our operators.” I didn’t realize that (y)our Lord and savior worked at a call center. And since when can you ask for those people by name? Pretty impressive hiring, AT&T!

Jesus: “Thank you for calling AT&T, this is Jesus Christ. How may I help you today?”
Customer:: “Hi, Jesus. I need to cancel my service, please.”
J:: “I’ll be happy to assist you with that. Just one moment while I pull up your account.” *typing noises* “Okay, I’m showing that you have a past due balance of $55.81. You’ll have to pay that balance before I can fully terminate your account.”
C:: *sigh* “I called a couple months ago to get my service cancelled, and the lady said it went through, but you guys still billed me for two months of service after that.”
J:: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t show any record of a request for cancellation on this account.”
C:: “Well I’m not paying for two months of service that I shouldn’t have had in the first place. Check my call records, I haven’t used my phone since the last time I called. I haven’t even had the phone hooked up to the jacks!”
J:: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no way of verifying that. I’m afraid you’ll have to pay the balance before I can terminate your account.”
C:: “May I speak with your supervisor, please?”
J:: “God? *lol* He doesn’t work here!”