zesticle.com

Ever since early in high school, I have been a big fan of reading the personal ads in the newspaper. We used to have newspapers readily available in study hall, so I would read them and “lol” at some of the ads in there, even though I knew people who had met that way and didn’t think it was weird. Some of them were just worded comically. I especially liked the ones with the ladies who were “really curvy” or who obviously wanted a rich guy.

Later in high school I found out about Nuvo newspaper, which has way better personal ads. Instead of just hinting at the prospect of sex, the Nuvo ads seemed to be dripping with it. Innuendo gave way to out-and-out requests. It was sort of like going from a county fair to the state fair; the county fair was always something to look forward to, but only because you hadn’t been to the far superior version. [note: this is a poor analogy for me since I don’t like fairs of any kind, but you get the idea]. Nuvo wasn’t readily available at the high school so I didn’t get to see that one as much, but it’s a free paper and I’d pick it up whenever I was somewhere that had it.

Eventually I lost interest in that sort of thing and I stopped reading them, except for a few instances here and there. I don’t know if it was just that the content was getting stale (if you read them long enough, it seems like you eventually read the same thing over and over and over) or I matured (this theory to be refuted momentarily), but looking at sexy personals faded from cherished pastime to cherished memory.

Then I found out about Craigslist.

For those that don’t know, Craigslist is a free online classified ad service that is available in pretty much every major US city. It is a great way to sell your crap without having to pay a bunch of money to the local paper to get it listed. As you might have guessed, they also have free online personal ads.

The ads in Craigslist are under a few different categories, such as “strictly platonic,” “women seeking men,” and my favorite, “casual encounters.” The latter section is for people who just want to hook up and get their freak on, and it’s chock full of risqué hilarity. Let’s take a gander, shall we?

A fair amount of the ads on here are clearly spam for porn sites or the like, so I will try to weed those out. It is also worth noting that as far as Craigslist usage goes, Indianapolis is small potatoes. It is worth your time to look at bigger places like Chicago or NY for more good stuff. Onward.

This one is funny to me because of specific and tame it is. I doubt that it would not go past this if the dude wanted more, but what the hell do I know.

flirting and passionate kissing - w4m - 35
I am married, prefer if you are, too. Looking to flirt with attractive, educated, smart and witty guy. Meet for drinks, witty banter, educated conversation and then find myself thinking about nothing else than what it feels like to be kissed by you.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last night I learned about a search engine called ChaCha. You can use it like a regular search engine, or (and this is the fun part) you can “search with a guide” and chat with a ChaCha search specialist and tell them what you want. They’ll provide links for you and ask if that’s what you’re looking for. It’s actually pretty cool.

Usefulness aside, I’ve decided to start a running feature called “ChaCha Ha Ha” in which I’ll be posting my chat logs with various search specialists. For this first one, I just wanted to find someone who would tell me a joke, which turned out to be more difficult than I had anticipated. I played around with this a little last night and the two people I talked to were pretty laid back. Apparently personality leaves on the shift change.

Status: Connecting …
Status: Looking for a guide …
Ring: …
Status: Connected to guide: linda(34978)
linda(34978): Welcome to ChaCha!
linda(34978): Hello I will be doing all your searching needs
You: hi Linda
You: what is your favorite joke?
linda(34978): Please take a moment and look at the first one while i find more
You: I have a luncheon today and need to crack wise while I rub elbows
You: okay, but I wanted to know what YOUR favorite joke is
linda(34978): Dont have one sorry
You: I find that hard to believe
You: send me to someone who does
linda(34978): Are these results sufficient?
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Status: Looking for a guide …
Ring: …
Status: Connected to guide: Edwina(14710)
Edwina(14710): Welcome to ChaCha!
You: edwina
You: I would like to know your favorite joke
Edwina(14710): Hi~
You: hello
You: no, linda already gave me that link
You: I want to know *your* favorite joke
You: I appreciate your help, Edwina, but you are being painfully slow
You: Thanks, I’m done.
Status: Session ended.

Two people so far, and two people who were absolutely no fun. I am sure the links that Linda gave me had some jokes, but I just got the exact same links from Edwina. Also, she was really slow. Boooooooo, Edwina! Let’s try again. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not sure how they mixed up, but it would seem that my office phone and my office computer are tied together. Not the whole computer, really, just iTunes. Here’s the skinny.

When I am at work, I have iTunes open and listen to my music at a reasonable volume to keep me from going insane. When the phone rings, I always pause whatever song I’m listening to just in case whoever is calling can hear it. Plus I probably enjoy the song and don’t want to miss any of it. So I talk to whoever is calling, hang up, and resume enjoying my music. It’s a decent system when it works, but it doesn’t always work.

Sometimes the person calling wants to talk to someone who I can’t find and I have to run all over the building looking for that person. Sometimes the phones go crazy and I will get four or five calls in the span of just a couple minutes. Sometimes the phone call leads to me having to do something away from my desk. In these instances, my iTunes sits idle for a much longer period of time, and from time to time I’ll forget I was listening to something and thusly forget to unpause it.

Whenever the silence or background noise of my co-workers starts to get to me, I’ll remember to start my song back up, and it’s at this moment that the connection between my computer and the phone becomes annoyingly apparent. The longer my iTunes sits on pause, the greater the likelihood that unpausing it will result in an incoming phone call within a few seconds, requiring me to pause it again almost immediately. It’s incredibly frustrating and nearly bulletproof in reliability. At this point, when I realize that iTunes has been paused for awhile, I’m tempted to just turn it off to keep the phone from ringing.

In other news, according to this recent Gallup Poll (click here to just see the question/results without leaving the page), I will never be president. I don’t know why not believing in God would make me a worse candidate than George W. OMG How Did This Guy Get Elected Twice Bush, but apparently it is worse than being older than dirt or gay. Not that I don’t think an old man or a guy dude couldn’t be president. At least the numbers are good for blacks and women, although I really don’t think I see Obama getting the Democratic nomination; his name sounds too terrorist-y (but I hope I’m wrong).