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I was feeling pretty good when I woke up this morning. Despite that it was too early and too cold in my house, I got a decent night’s sleep, and I was still feeling good about the Colts’ Superbowl victory last night. Somewhere between the edge of my bed and the shower, however, my day took a turn for the crappy. I don’t know what happened, exactly, but I twisted my neck somehow and it tightened up. It’s been bothering me ever since and has rendered it virtually impossible for me to turn my head without rotating my entire body from the waist up. Give me a sweet flattop and some bolts sticking out of my neck and I’d look just like Frankenstein (with slightly better social skills).

So lunchtime rolls around today, and since nothing in particular sounded good, I grabbed some Taco Bell and headed back to the office. I got to my desk, and as I was giddily unwrapping my Cheesey Gordita Crunch (which is what Jesus would eat if he was in the mood for Tex Mex), it occurred to me that I’m a completely non-forward-thinking idiot. I can barely turn my head and decide it’s a good idea to get a food that requires a high degree of cranial rotation to eat without getting the contents everywhere? Way to go, self.

It wasn’t easy, but I finished my lunch, proving once and for all that with hard work, determination, and a hefty dose of believing in yourself, one can overcome seemingly insurmountable adversity. I think I make a pretty good role model to all the little crippled kids out there. Especially the crippled kids with a hankerin’ for some industrial-grade soft tacos.

I know, crippled kid. I know.