i guess that explains all the flies
27 04 2007So I’m pretty sure I didn’t put any deodorant on this morning. I do this every once in awhile when my morning routine gets knocked out of whack. I don’t really consider myself a rigid, structured person, there are certain things that I need to in a particular order if I want to ensure that they get done. Or at all, in the case of deodorant application.
On the plus side of things, I don’t really stink today. I only noticed because I had a job interview earlier and found myself a little damper under the arms than I would have anticipated. I started retracing my steps from this morning and realized that yeah, I’m an idiot. A smelly idiot by the end of the day.
The middle of a job interview is not the best time to realize that you’re not really doing anything to mask your own personal fragrance, by the way. A job interview is a lot like a first date. You’re trying to impress them enough that they want to see you again, and if things go well enough, they’ll let you inside them. Being a smelly mofo can put a serious kink in those plans.
Although it’s not necessarily all bad that I didn’t put any on today. There is a possible link between the aluminum salts used in most antiperspirants and the development of Alzheimer’s disease. Maybe I’m already starting to get that, and that’s what prompted me to forget to put my deodorant on in the first place. What an odd sequence of cause and effect.
I’ve always thought it would be amazing to be able to go back to a number of periods in history and just watch people, but I have a feeling I would be ready to come back soon because the rampant B.O. would be too much to handle. I get a little sick to my stomach if I walk past somebody who clearly hasn’t showered recently. I can’t imagine how much a city full of similarly funky dudes and ladies would make me want to wretch.
In closing, I will try to make a more concerted effort in the future to maintain my personal hygiene at a satisfactory level. In return, I would appreciate it if you would do the same before visiting this site. I have a rep to maintain and can’t be seen fraternizing with smelly, greasy internet nerds. Go take a shower already, nerds.
Before I really respond you have to pick: naturally smelly un-deodorized armpits OR uber-perfume-laced person. That’s your choice.
I too very rarely will forget the deo…which is why there is an extra thing of it in my desk. That and I seem to sweat a lot anyhow, so I will reapply on a hot summer day if I feel it necessary.There are none that work anyway, are there? I thought I had tried everything…
Did you know the aluminum content is higher in female anti persperants than in mens? I thought to combat sweating I would try men’s deodorant/anti persperant, but I found out it does no good but it doesn’t have as much active ingredient as womens.
I’m happy to say that I don’t forget to perfume the pits but maybe a couple times a year. Sorry to hear it happened the day of your interview. Hopefully you weren’t in the “ew” phase of odor release, although Jarrett goes into “EWWWW” within hours of showering. Good luck and I wish you the best to find a career that you like and makes you lots of money!