zesticle.com

FACT: Sleeping at work is better than working at work. The problem, of course, is that sleeping at work is a good way to get yourself fired. I bring this up because here in the last little while, your Uncle Zesty has had a few days in which sleep has tried to assault him like Kobe Bryant in a Colorado hotel. I’ve generally had a high degree of success in these battles, which is good. I sleep naked and it would be embarrassing to wake up at my desk with my clothes in a pile on the floor.

I’m dreading the day when I doze off for a minute or two and am subsequently awoken by a superior clearing his throat. Rather than being lauded for my commitment to my health and well-being (”Wouldn’t you rather have me sleep at my desk for half an hr a couple times per week rather than missing a day because of illness brought on by an exhaustion-weakened immune system?” I would say), I imagine there would be threats of job loss or some other ridiculous penalty.

The whole situation provides another reason for me to want to be my own boss, but I have no idea what I’d do. Believe it or not, I don’t make any money from this site at all. Shocking, I know. In fact, the next penny of revenue I earn will be the first. My losses to date are simply staggering (when viewed as percentages instead of dollar amounts). And aside from woman-pleasing*, I can’t think of any skills I have that people would pay me for.

Speaking of skills, I’m going to try to develop a new one here in the near future. After various sources of inspiration, I believe Poynte Blank and I are going to be making a short film or two. I know you’re excited, pups, and I suppose I’m a little excited also. Mostly for you guys, because I’m sure it will be amazingly excellent. I have no basis for believing this, but when it comes to creation, one must have faith. Or so I have been told. I don’t know if it will be ten minute movie about some bank robbers who don’t get along with each other and have some zany stuff happen as a result, or if I’ll just set someone’s car and fire and film their reaction from a distance. It could be something else entirely (maybe bank robbers who set cars on fire?). I’ll obviously post anything we come up with here on the site for the internet to devour like ants on a cookie.

* - sexually