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The other day I was listening to Breaking Benjamin’s first CD on my way into work and got this song stuck in my head. Listening to the lyrics, it’s clearly inspired by The Wizard of Oz, which is also why the video I just linked to is just clips of that movie with the song dubbed over it.

Anywho, I had the song stuck in my head and wanted to hear it again at work, so I pulled up that video. I have seen TWoO many times (mostly when I was a kid, since it was on one of the networks every year and it seemed like I always had to watch it), but it wasn’t until I watched this video that I realized how lame the Wicked Witch of the West is. And that, my friends, brings us to the topic of today’s post: Fictional Characters With Lame-Ass Weaknesses.

• The Wicked Witch of the West
  

  This chick has a lot going for her. She can apparently teleport, she can fly, she can throw fireballs like she was straight out of Street Fighter II, and best of all, she has an army of flying monkeys at her disposal. The problem is that you can take her down with a Dixie cup full of H₂O. That also means that even though there are probably a ton of freaks on the internet who would voluntarily remove a testicle for a chance to punch the ticket of someone who’s completely green (and I don’t mean a virgin), she hasn’t had a shower in EVER, which should be a huge turnoff to anyone.

  And from a biological perspective, her water vulnerability makes no sense at all. Even allowing for the fact that she’s not completely human, her cells would still be mostly composed of water. How can you be killed by something that makes up the vast majority of your mass? Let’s also not forget that her abilities to do evil deeds in scary conditions are severely hampered by this condition. I don’t know about you, but when I think about witches (or any other monsters), it conjures images of dark and stormy nights. Not for this one, though! Night work, even on clear nights, might be out of the question; I’d bet that if she’s out and about and the temperature drops below the dewpoint, she’s in trouble. Evil beings who can be killed with a SuperSoaker are not that intimidating.

  Wicked Witch of the West - YOU SUCK.

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